Im a mother of 4 three son’s one daughter

I’ve suffered mentally,physically and financially not knowing it at the time cause i was inlove i thought the world of him carried him on a silver platter we went out always together drinking celebrating sitting with friends had the 1st child baby was only 2months old thats when he was laying on the bed telling me he was going to stabbed our son after a argument i thought he was talking nonsense at 1st but then he started stabbing the cupboard and thats when i started to get scared our baby was lying on the bed and went and covered him and told him you can rather stab me but not my baby i will fight to thee end to save my baby he was on drugs(rocks),dagga and drinking i fell pregnant again 1st turning 2 the beginning everything was fine we lived with my mother my ex-husband at the that time my boyfriend we went to our friends all couples they were sitting and drinking i was round about 7 or 8 months pregnant we had a argument so with him when he is drinking and smoking dagga he get extremely rude and aggressive he will grab me push me around and choke me well this night he got so aggressive that he actually threw me out the window there was glass everywhere evens in my hair he only stopped performing with me when his friend got upset with him and also argued with and told him how could he do such a thing to me im pregnant as if that wouldve stopped him forgave him everything went as normal again now preparing for baby number 2 to come this day he was up and down with friends drinking he calls him younger brother to come pick him up fine still up to this day i dont know how we got into a argument the next thing i knew he grabbed me threw me on the bed my head hanging over the end of the bed he was ontop of me he choked me till i was blue in my face i couldnt breathe and more i kept thinking of my unborn child i shouted and screamed everytime i could catch a breathe i had a perfume bottle on my dressing table a small one so i grabbed it and hit him through the face and against his i thought to myself here i have to fight back to save my baby eventually his younger brother came into the room and saw what happened he grabbed and pulled him off from me i suffered complications i was for a whole month in Somerset hospital i couldnt give birth highly stressed out BP sky high protein in my urine i was constantly exhausted just wanted to sleep hospital sent me home they told me if i dont go to labour by myself they are going to induce me scared and affraid i went home luckily the Saturday i went into labour i had my second son thank God everything was fine while he was growing up i notice certain things of him he never spoke always quiet only smiles with everyone he started school 1st year the teacher called me in he will sit on the mat watch the kids playing never interacted with them until the teachers got him to do so he started talking a few years passed socialworker worked with him at school that when i found out the trauma i went through affected him and he had to go to a school of skills everything good and fine we got married i thought the abuse was over i was getting ready this friday night for work bathed me washed my hair about to blow my hair im in the kitchen my ex-husband came home drunk he spoke to me i answered then he started to get rude i ignored him to prevent a argument then he strated grabbing me and aiming for my neck to choke me thats when i just snapped i fought back that night all i saw was blood coming from his nose mouth and ears then he spat the blood in my face our neighbor grabbed me out of the house and took me to his house made my sugar water to help me calm down my mother phoned his family to come take him away time passed we were good again he was sitting with friends drinking came home had a few cold ones again im in the kitchen we start arguing again my eldest son was 7 years old that time his father trying to choke me again accusing me of jolling at work cause i was working too much and he wasnt working at that time he hit me a blue eye infront of our kids my eldest son shouted mummy look at your eye instantly swelling up turning blue that night i phoned the cops he told are you doing this to your childrens father so i told him is what you do to your cildrens mother thats when the cops asked me what must they so i said take him and they took him after 3 months separation we got back together again fell pregnant with the 3rd another son no problems no fighting we learned to resolve our issues well thats what i thought still living by my mother working had a business on the side i didnt worry with friends or family for me it was us against the world mind you no one really liked him they only accepted him cause he was with me his actually the black sheep in his family after 9 years i fell pregnant again 5 months pregnant his mom gets a RDP house she give the house to us raw and tells us this house is for my grandchildren me ever excited never had my own place before i spoke to my boss to help me and he agreed i fix up the house primer,paint,tiles,burglar bar the whole house walked up and down for pans that cost monies we had our daughter then covid happened i got retrenched i got my provident fund i put on walls got new plans again i bought everything new in the house then a car worse mistake then the car started to a uber other people is driving the car when i want to visit my mom i must put in petrol i must take a taxi to work and home again other people get s to be taken to work and picked up again some of them worked in the same area i did but i must take public transport which i did sometimes i didnt evens have monies to come back home there was days when i get home then my kids would be hungry starving waiting for me to come from work only to findout that the food i left them to eat he have to his friends who was sitting and drinking there at our house if i confronted him he would say the kids were lying i would be at home some weekends then we didnt evens great each other in the morning then he would get a phone call from his friends to take them somewhere not even bathing,brushing teeth or asking me do you need help in the house 1st or need anything he would jump in his telling me his now back then he comes back late afternoon the evening or sometimes the next day sometimes he came home with females in the car drinking with him still wanting to use the toilet and he will bring them not worried about or how i would feel untill this one night i was crying feeling alone neglected heartbroken cause i didnt know what to do anymore i was alone in this marriage and it seemed like he was 16 all over again enjoying his life drinking friends and females i even stopped drinking with because if i do he would allow me to drink after a few then he changes with verbal abuse i thought to myself what did i do wrong i cook i clean i do washing i see to the kids i do the shopping what more should i for him to take note of me well i kept crying every night while he was out partying untill one day i opened up to him i questioned him about his actions and how i felt i asked him to go with me for marriage counciling he laught at me and told me that was for mad people he didnt want to change thats when i decided you dont respect me or the kids you “f” us around and you want to be young again so now im making up my mind i went for a divorce even the socialworker asked me why did you take so long no woman deserves to be treated this way 22 years together 15years married it wasnt easy i kept thinking about the kids and neglected myself i moved out to my mom i was doing night school at the time doing the 2 subjects i failed i came out by the night school he was standing and waiting with the car with the neighbors grandchild i thought ok fine he offered me a lift took me straight to the house we use to live together i didnt want to go in at 1st and eventually did i still trusted him we started talking then he started to get aggressive and forced himself on me i was screaming some neighbors hired me but did nothing they ignored it cause made me bad by everyone i was the biggest slut and everyone believed him i fought against him then i couldnt anymore he sat on my face choked me at the same time i tried crawling out of the house backwards my leg went threw the gate thats when he kicked it closed he grabbed me by the head he told he was going to kill me and he has a gun in the room he pulled me to the kitchen he put my head on the counter took out the large meat knife to cut off my head i couldnt fight i didnt have strength i couldnt scream anymore that when i told myself i need to get out of here my kids need me that when i realize the one cupboard is broken were the cutlery was in i grabbed it while he was holding me down to start cutting i pushed the cupboard as hard as i could justcto make a loud noise and it did thats when the neighbor next door her son and granddaughter came rushing in they tried to pull me loose feom him almost impossible but i broke loose i couldnt even run i ran into the neighbors house around the corner she wasnt at home only her son i asked him to lock up and switch off the lights i phones the cops while waiting for them to arrive my ex-husband was driving up and down looking for me he evens told me he wants to take me to the mountain and drive off a kliff with me eventually cops came they went to go look for him could find him they came back dropped me by my kids at my moms place when i saw them i broke down and cried i told them what happened then my mom told me go bath take your bp meds and get into bed after bathing i went into my moms rooms thats when i collapsed just blackout my mom jumped over the bed leaning over me started praying as my tongue got instantly thick in my mouth and again landed up in hospital and was told i had a near death experience i almost died and when people die their tongue swells up in their mouth doctor told me stay away from this man his not going to stop until he kills you i have a hospital folder as thick as a bible of injuries of my ex husband a few months went pass he phones me tells me he wants to speak with me i told him ok come sober i just got out of the bath it was hot i was wearing shorts and vest i go out i tell him talk car is parked infront of the door talking talking talking there he starts again getting rude and aggressive thats when i realized he dranked i told im not doing this go home about to get out from passenger side infront i just put out my 2 legs out of the car about to get out he starts the car step on petrol sending me flying out of the car landing on my back i couldnt walk for 2weeks couldnt lift my right leg pelvis disrupted and up until today im still suffering even going for physiotherapy i suffer from anxiety attacks,blackout migraines and now psychiatrists all because of him we had on incident where he took our daughter from school i worked untill 11 that friday morning went to go get my daughter they tell me he took her go to the house his not there door is open gate is locked i walk around to one of the friend who sells beers then i found him there drinking with my daughter there i was upset i went around wanted her stuff his shouting going on then grabbed me started choking me pushing my head into the blanket that was laying on the couch my glasses flew one side my daughter screaming and crying she was 6 years old at the time she ran to the neighbors for help i tried to get loose but he was choking the life out of me he took his fist and pushed it into my eye and started hitting me until my youngest son came in he was 14 at the time and he grabbed his father and told me mummy run and he got to me again thats when my son contacted his aunty Vanessa on video call let she can see how he performs and goes on with me cause his family doesnt believe everything me and the kids told them about him i made a case got a protection order and warrant of arrest and still he manipulated the court and me they sent us for counciling and AA for himhe made a case against me and my son he went to childwelfare with me wanting to spite me and take my kids away from me but didnt succeed cause i took them to childwelfare myself were they were interviewed by socialworkers he went to AA come home drinks a beer up untill today his still drinking nothing the court did or implemented was of no use his still a narcissist he doesnt care about his kids or me his mother sisters and brother thew their own grandchildren out of the house sold it for their own benefits didnt give me or my kids a cent but but they gave their abusive son monies to put him up a nutec to i still live with my mom i was blessed with a Wendyhouse for me and my kids at the moment im not financially stable i get no support from him if i tell him his daughter is hungry he send a R9 or R20 to buy for her alone i trust and believe God will help me through this ruff time of struggle some nights we will go without food but we wont die its better than going back to abuse of a narcissist he always try and put me down and still calling cause he wants me back but his sleeping around with several other females including and school teacher a old school friend and apparently there is another one but he still wants me and him to get back and still tells me if take him back he will leave all of them and he told them that too im getting older not younger looking forward on healing and building myself up 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Attending the Girls Before Violence event changed my life. For the first time, I felt seen, heard, and supported. Sharing my story gave me strength, and hearing others reminded me I’m not alone.